December.

Posted by Taj McNamara Saturday, December 4, 2010 Saturday, December 04, 2010 0 comments
So much changes in a year.

I want to say goodbye to 2010...and it has not been a kind year to me and I'm glad to see it go.

There are so many things I want to say---much so to a very specific person- but I know he's not listening...and thus there is little point to saying it.  I love him- more than he knows, more than I can show, and more than anything. But---I have learned in 2010. Things I wish I had learned earlier.

I'm OK now. I'm good. Better every day...so I don't know that I need to say much more.
I wish....well, I have wishes. But more than that, I have me. Back. Myself again.
I have my girls, and my life. I'm back where I need to be in my mind and heart- and I will enjoy that, because it was worth the fight.

This is good. Good bye, 2010. Good bye love of my life.

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Little Light Bulb Lessons....

Posted by Taj McNamara Wednesday, September 15, 2010 Wednesday, September 15, 2010 0 comments
OK...wearing THESE little babies in the grocery store evidently paints a big ol' red bullseye somewhere on me (pick your favorite body region) as I found out today...

I wanted to break them in before I tried wearing them for any significant amount of time...and I've been wearing them around the house some- while doing laundry or just for 20 minute spurts so that I get my arches and toes used to it..... but time had come for some real world application...as these babies have 4" heels on them and it's been a LOOOONG time since I ran around in shoes like this for any reason.

Granted, I LOVE them and they've given a whole new attitude to my feeling much like I did in my late teens and early 20's....that I am indeed strong, confident, attractive and all those other wonderful confidence-boosting terms.. I'm just not USED to the attention anymore.

I've been married...and regrettably I'm finding I was more unhappily married than I realized....but still, I considered myself MARRIED and off limits and didn't pay attention to anything male other than the one I was married to....for a long time. Granted, maybe if I painted my butt orange and installed some timing chain and a turn signal he would have paid attention to me AFTER we got married...but you know- live and learn. 

I have realized, both with these shoes, and my refined physique due to some serious effort on my part---that there's a whole lotta' attention out there I've been missing.  So...between the 4" heels, the red dress I bought a few months ago (that I am still figuring on wearing soon) and the new car I just bought.....I'm figuring I need to get reaccustomed to a little attention now and then, which may be a very good thing given how long I've gone without it!
A big, fat thank you to the guy who followed me around the store tonight.....I'm not giving out my number...but it was nice to have you ask. :)


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