Hubs and I have hit the divider. The one thing we will never agree on. Ever.
We can compromise on dinner, paper vs. plastic, tomay-to vs. tomah-to, and whether the toilet seat needs to be up or down- and whether people just need to look where they're sitting before doing so....
We cannot, however, agree on bumpkin-ville vs. the city.
I hate. small. towns.
In particular, I really, really, REALLY dislike the small town we're in, in no small part due to the fact I grew up here.
I left at 17. Happily. Jubilantly. Skipping-all-the-way.
Really with no intention to ever return.
It's a freakin' black hole, folks. Come within 50 miles and you're sucked in.
(sucking sound)
Yep.
My husband doesn't get it. The things he loves about this town, I hate. For example:
1. He loves that everywhere he goes he runs into someone he knows, or everyone he knows.
I hate this. I hate the constant pressure to look presentable because you're going to run into someone or everyone you know while doing anything, everything, once you leave your house. I hate that I always have to think of names and faces and how many children, and are they divorced/married, the whole thing of feeling like I have to have 3 x 5 cards in my pocket to make sure I have notes on the dozen or so people I might run into while shopping for Pepto Bismol and glass cleaner at Walmart.
We'll talk about the configurations of my shopping lists, later..
I hate that running into people is a mixed bag; you might run into someone you like- but usually the store or wherever you are isn't a 'sit down and chat' type thing- it's an 'in passing' thing and I am always left with those situations- feeling like I said too much, or too little, and it was so RUSHED and pushy. You come around the corner of the cereal aisle, just after telling your child they can't have the 100% sugar poofy cereal with the made-in-Taiwan toy in it, you're pissy, they're in tears...and lo-and-behold; here's Susan. Who wants to chat.
(Sarcastically) Great.
Super. Right here, right now, when I'm dealing with a temper tantrum, a chat. Whoopie.
Then in the next aisle it's Jill, and then Mary, and then Ashley.....THRU THE WHOLE DAMN STORE!
Or worse, you run into someone you DON'T like...and would like to avoid. You can't. They're everywhere. I have run into the same person in 3 different locations in one afternoon. It was like we had carbon copies of each other's errand lists. The grocery store, post office, bank....and then I think I ran into that same person two more times before I went home.
GOOD GRIEF. GO AWAY, will you? Or will I? Oh, I will. Thank you.
So you run into Bob, that you don't like or have some negative experience with, EVERYWHERE. I'm sorry, but after the third time of feigning interest in what is new in wheat germ...I run out of ways to pretend I've not seen you and will just turn around and walk away. This, of course, isn't going to make the NEXT time I run into you (say- in 15 minutes) any easier.
Again, from Shauna: "Stab. Stab. Stab."
I like the obscurity of not knowing people in big city stores and markets. I've perfected the 'stranger stare' of not actually looking at people, just looking beyond them, and doing my own thing. Left alone. I don't want the contents of my basket or bag scrutinized by people I know are friends with six other people I know, who next time they get together at the bar (a whole other situation) they can talk about what I was wearing, how my hair was, and what the HELL I was shopping for. I know they'll do this because there is NOTHING ELSE IN TOWN TO DO.
2. My husband likes going to the little town functions and street events, and local watering holes, as he knows everyone.
This is a continuation of above, but is worse, as it's the SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
Over and over and over.
There might be comfort in that for some people (You eat the same PB&J sandwich every day with the crusts cut off and little shapes made out of them? Oh. Wow. You're interesting.) but I'm a variety-lover and I get sick of seeing the exact same little clusters of people, all-the-dang-time. Very little is new, very little changes, and you don't have that pleasant "wow-fancy-that-meeting-you-here" thing...it's more of a "here-we-go-again" thing.
What's worse; I grew up here, so it's the SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIME that it was in elementary, junior high, and high school.....the SAME CLIQUES, over and over and over. I have a very decided view on people that were born here, raised here, and never leave here.
I have the same view of a goldfish that is perfectly happy never leaving the baggie he came in. Is this ALL you wanted in life? REALLY?!?!
That same-old-same-old crew, most of whom inherited money or business from the folks (or both) really doesn't need to leave as anywhere else; they probably wouldn't amount to much in the big scheme- as here they have a pre-set business, clientele, housing, and income; some of which was given to them by their parents...and negated them having to do/learn/try/aspire or otherwise accomplish anything short of just breathing in and out all day long.
I get really tired of being around the same personalities, the same stories, the same social hiearchy....all the time. It gets to feeling like the jr. high lunch period where everyone has 'their table' or 'their territory' staked out...and the BELL NEVER RINGS for lunch to be OVER. It sucks.
3. Hubby hates traffic. Hubby hates city life. Hubby hates being in cities.
I love all of it. I love traffic, I love driving in it, sitting in it, and figuring out ways around it. I love it being an excuse when I'm late, or a reason to delay things I don't necessarily want to do. I like watching the flow of it, and figuring out the dynamics of it, and just the constant motion of it all. I even like the frantic hurry to get thru it, navigate it, figure it out, and just to sit and watch it work itself through.
I love city life in that there is SO MUCH TO DO. You have your favorite 2-3 places to eat, but there is always something new opening or some place you haven't tried, or some place you've not been to in a while or ever- you just have to put yourself in a new neighborhood for a Dr. appointment or something and 'boom'...new shops, restaurants, and options present themselves in; "Hey! I didn't know we had that there!" ways.
I love to shop, I love to people-watch (when they're STRANGERS!), and I love the constant go-go-go.
I love the parks, concerts, shows, freebie- things, museums, and constantly changing seasonal offerings....like right now, the Holidays:
- The City of Denver lights up a few major buildings that are pretty awesome to see on cold winter night. It's in the middle of the downtown area in a circle of traffic, plaza and park. You drive or walk by it with the sounds of the city, the traffic in motion- the red tail lights and white headlights and green/red/yellow traffic lights, it's a blinking, glowing, in-motion display of light and sound....and you can stand there freezing your bippy off and watch it for as long as you can stand there..... and it's beautiful. Lots of angles, lots of options, lots of pictures!
- The City of Durango lights up a tree on one corner downtown. That's the big hoo-ha.
Whoopie.
You can drive by it in 2 directions and rarely is there much traffic around it.
You have to stand across the street or in the middle of the street to see it all properly, and then that's it.
You saw it. You go home. Yay.
I get goose bumps in Paris when the Eiffel Tower does it's sparkling-blinking thing....and it does it often. I love light shows. I love the constant glow of the city and the motion and the flicker....it's like watching something LIVE. I could stand by the Eiffel Tower all night long and watch it flicker until they shut it off at 2 a.m. or tell me to go home, whichever. Then I'd probably be back to watch the sun rise and the whole area come to life again- because I love it.
Small towns....suck.
I will have to continue my thoughts on small towns as I'm now so disgusted with the idea....it will weigh me down for a few more hours and I have to go make sure the child got on the bus to school, and then to go down and fight the horrendously stupid parking lot at the ONE POST OFFICE we have in town. Yay.
We can compromise on dinner, paper vs. plastic, tomay-to vs. tomah-to, and whether the toilet seat needs to be up or down- and whether people just need to look where they're sitting before doing so....
We cannot, however, agree on bumpkin-ville vs. the city.
I hate. small. towns.
In particular, I really, really, REALLY dislike the small town we're in, in no small part due to the fact I grew up here.
I left at 17. Happily. Jubilantly. Skipping-all-the-way.
Really with no intention to ever return.
It's a freakin' black hole, folks. Come within 50 miles and you're sucked in.
(sucking sound)
Yep.
My husband doesn't get it. The things he loves about this town, I hate. For example:
1. He loves that everywhere he goes he runs into someone he knows, or everyone he knows.
I hate this. I hate the constant pressure to look presentable because you're going to run into someone or everyone you know while doing anything, everything, once you leave your house. I hate that I always have to think of names and faces and how many children, and are they divorced/married, the whole thing of feeling like I have to have 3 x 5 cards in my pocket to make sure I have notes on the dozen or so people I might run into while shopping for Pepto Bismol and glass cleaner at Walmart.
We'll talk about the configurations of my shopping lists, later..
I hate that running into people is a mixed bag; you might run into someone you like- but usually the store or wherever you are isn't a 'sit down and chat' type thing- it's an 'in passing' thing and I am always left with those situations- feeling like I said too much, or too little, and it was so RUSHED and pushy. You come around the corner of the cereal aisle, just after telling your child they can't have the 100% sugar poofy cereal with the made-in-Taiwan toy in it, you're pissy, they're in tears...and lo-and-behold; here's Susan. Who wants to chat.
(Sarcastically) Great.
Super. Right here, right now, when I'm dealing with a temper tantrum, a chat. Whoopie.
Then in the next aisle it's Jill, and then Mary, and then Ashley.....THRU THE WHOLE DAMN STORE!
Or worse, you run into someone you DON'T like...and would like to avoid. You can't. They're everywhere. I have run into the same person in 3 different locations in one afternoon. It was like we had carbon copies of each other's errand lists. The grocery store, post office, bank....and then I think I ran into that same person two more times before I went home.
GOOD GRIEF. GO AWAY, will you? Or will I? Oh, I will. Thank you.
So you run into Bob, that you don't like or have some negative experience with, EVERYWHERE. I'm sorry, but after the third time of feigning interest in what is new in wheat germ...I run out of ways to pretend I've not seen you and will just turn around and walk away. This, of course, isn't going to make the NEXT time I run into you (say- in 15 minutes) any easier.
Again, from Shauna: "Stab. Stab. Stab."
I like the obscurity of not knowing people in big city stores and markets. I've perfected the 'stranger stare' of not actually looking at people, just looking beyond them, and doing my own thing. Left alone. I don't want the contents of my basket or bag scrutinized by people I know are friends with six other people I know, who next time they get together at the bar (a whole other situation) they can talk about what I was wearing, how my hair was, and what the HELL I was shopping for. I know they'll do this because there is NOTHING ELSE IN TOWN TO DO.
2. My husband likes going to the little town functions and street events, and local watering holes, as he knows everyone.
This is a continuation of above, but is worse, as it's the SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
Over and over and over.
There might be comfort in that for some people (You eat the same PB&J sandwich every day with the crusts cut off and little shapes made out of them? Oh. Wow. You're interesting.) but I'm a variety-lover and I get sick of seeing the exact same little clusters of people, all-the-dang-time. Very little is new, very little changes, and you don't have that pleasant "wow-fancy-that-meeting-you-here" thing...it's more of a "here-we-go-again" thing.
What's worse; I grew up here, so it's the SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIME that it was in elementary, junior high, and high school.....the SAME CLIQUES, over and over and over. I have a very decided view on people that were born here, raised here, and never leave here.
I have the same view of a goldfish that is perfectly happy never leaving the baggie he came in. Is this ALL you wanted in life? REALLY?!?!
That same-old-same-old crew, most of whom inherited money or business from the folks (or both) really doesn't need to leave as anywhere else; they probably wouldn't amount to much in the big scheme- as here they have a pre-set business, clientele, housing, and income; some of which was given to them by their parents...and negated them having to do/learn/try/aspire or otherwise accomplish anything short of just breathing in and out all day long.
I get really tired of being around the same personalities, the same stories, the same social hiearchy....all the time. It gets to feeling like the jr. high lunch period where everyone has 'their table' or 'their territory' staked out...and the BELL NEVER RINGS for lunch to be OVER. It sucks.
3. Hubby hates traffic. Hubby hates city life. Hubby hates being in cities.
I love all of it. I love traffic, I love driving in it, sitting in it, and figuring out ways around it. I love it being an excuse when I'm late, or a reason to delay things I don't necessarily want to do. I like watching the flow of it, and figuring out the dynamics of it, and just the constant motion of it all. I even like the frantic hurry to get thru it, navigate it, figure it out, and just to sit and watch it work itself through.
I love city life in that there is SO MUCH TO DO. You have your favorite 2-3 places to eat, but there is always something new opening or some place you haven't tried, or some place you've not been to in a while or ever- you just have to put yourself in a new neighborhood for a Dr. appointment or something and 'boom'...new shops, restaurants, and options present themselves in; "Hey! I didn't know we had that there!" ways.
I love to shop, I love to people-watch (when they're STRANGERS!), and I love the constant go-go-go.
I love the parks, concerts, shows, freebie- things, museums, and constantly changing seasonal offerings....like right now, the Holidays:
Whoopie.
You can drive by it in 2 directions and rarely is there much traffic around it.
You have to stand across the street or in the middle of the street to see it all properly, and then that's it.
You saw it. You go home. Yay.
I get goose bumps in Paris when the Eiffel Tower does it's sparkling-blinking thing....and it does it often. I love light shows. I love the constant glow of the city and the motion and the flicker....it's like watching something LIVE. I could stand by the Eiffel Tower all night long and watch it flicker until they shut it off at 2 a.m. or tell me to go home, whichever. Then I'd probably be back to watch the sun rise and the whole area come to life again- because I love it.
Small towns....suck.
I will have to continue my thoughts on small towns as I'm now so disgusted with the idea....it will weigh me down for a few more hours and I have to go make sure the child got on the bus to school, and then to go down and fight the horrendously stupid parking lot at the ONE POST OFFICE we have in town. Yay.
December 14, 2009 8:35 PM
We've been talking about such things here. Not necessarily the seeing people you don't want to (we both agree, that's no fun)...and for the record, I left my black hole and don't want to ever return. Last thing I want to do is face those that I'm completely different than now.
Ahem.
Back to it. The culture, the ease of people, the fun things that cities have to offer. We even want those too. We miss them. We miss what we were doing....before. We'll get to it eventually - as will you.