I'm a tall woman. I was a tall girl. I was a tall child. I outgrew everyone early- and watched and waited until some of them caught up with me. Some never did. Some never will.
I remember growing pains in my legs and torso when I was growing up. When I slept, when I walked, when I ate. I remember wondering when the pains would stop.
They stopped when I was done growing.
I'm going thru a hellish time right now. Probably the worst of the hellish times, and I've had a few, this is the worst of all of them.
My best friend....my blue eyes, my lover.....and the love of my life.....we are on opposite teams right now.
Both of us are hurting in different places, all the time....and it's because we're growing. Maybe not together, and maybe not both positively- I don't know yet. All I know is it hurts. It's been hurting....and I know it's gonna' keep hurting for a while.
Until we're done growing.
I don't know when that will be.
I don't know what things will look like when we're done.
I just don't know.
I'm gonna grow me. I'm gonna grow what I can, with what I've got.
God knows I love my blue eyes....and won't ever not love him...but....I gotta grow, and maybe I'll out grow him like I did those boys in school when I was younger.....and maybe he'll grow and catch up to me at some point like they did---- maybe not.
God be with you, my blue eyes...while you do what you do.
Someday....I hope you realize that in the big scheme of things...all of us have pasts, issues, oddities, and things that we can and cannot help. I also hope you know how close to perfection we came...and how sad I was to see it thrown away so easily, so quickly, with so little concern.
For my part---some of your words are helping me grow---and some are keeping you from growing....which you will have to find out for yourself, as I did.
I remember growing pains in my legs and torso when I was growing up. When I slept, when I walked, when I ate. I remember wondering when the pains would stop.
They stopped when I was done growing.
I'm going thru a hellish time right now. Probably the worst of the hellish times, and I've had a few, this is the worst of all of them.
My best friend....my blue eyes, my lover.....and the love of my life.....we are on opposite teams right now.
Both of us are hurting in different places, all the time....and it's because we're growing. Maybe not together, and maybe not both positively- I don't know yet. All I know is it hurts. It's been hurting....and I know it's gonna' keep hurting for a while.
Until we're done growing.
I don't know when that will be.
I don't know what things will look like when we're done.
I just don't know.
I'm gonna grow me. I'm gonna grow what I can, with what I've got.
God knows I love my blue eyes....and won't ever not love him...but....I gotta grow, and maybe I'll out grow him like I did those boys in school when I was younger.....and maybe he'll grow and catch up to me at some point like they did---- maybe not.
God be with you, my blue eyes...while you do what you do.
Someday....I hope you realize that in the big scheme of things...all of us have pasts, issues, oddities, and things that we can and cannot help. I also hope you know how close to perfection we came...and how sad I was to see it thrown away so easily, so quickly, with so little concern.
For my part---some of your words are helping me grow---and some are keeping you from growing....which you will have to find out for yourself, as I did.
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